All calls and written communication are recorded. Do not discuss the details of the alleged crime. Attorney/client communication is not recorded.

Attorney costs can be a huge financial burden on families. Retainer fees are costly and nonrefundable, regardless of the outcome of the case. Additional funds may be required if a case ends up going to trial. A Public Defender is appointed by the court to people who cannot afford a private attorney. County jails and prisons have various ways to deposit money onto your loved one’s phone and commissary accounts. This can be done via phone, online or in some places, in person through a machine. You will need a debit or credit card to make deposits. Once you set up an account, you can make deposits as needed. One of the most difficult parts of being incarcerated is the psychological shift that happens. Staying in touch helps your loved one stay connect to the outside world and remain a part of their trusted support network. There are many ways to show support that cost little to no money: Pray. Write a letter or send a card, ask others to do the same when able. During phone calls, provide positive updates and share experiences that help normalize life. Be a good listener even if you do not have the answer to the problem. Remind your loved one they are loved and not forgotten. Visit when able.

Depending on the charges and the details of the case, someone can be in jail for a few hours up to a few years. A person can be released due to their charges being dropped, released until the next court date (with or without bail) or held in jail until the next court date.

Having a loved one in jail can cause a disruption to financial responsibilities and income and cause deep financial strain on a family. Though there is no way to stop bills from coming in, communicating with lenders about payment options and grace periods can be helpful. It is up to the accused to decide if they would like you to contact their employer or other obligations they may have. When someone is arrested, his or her life pauses, but their responsibilities do not. If you have the means to pay bills on their behalf, it may help them to keep a good credit rating and keep things from being in a “past due” status once they come home. This may be beneficial if they have been given a short sentence.

Your loved one can let you know when they are allowed to receive visits. Visits must be scheduled in advance and approved by the facility. Instructions for visiting, including strict visitation policies, can be found on the facilities website. Be sure to review these carefully so you do not waste a trip to the prison and disappoint your loved one by being turned away due to noncompliance. Dress code is strict and violations will keep you from visiting. During the visit, you will check in upon arrival. Only bring your ID and keys into the prison with you (unless you have a small child-check the website for approved items). You will be issued a locker for your keys and coat (sometimes you need your own quarter-which is usually refunded). When called, you will go through a metal detector, and may asked to show the insides of your pockets and possibly remove shoes or boots for inspection (Very similar to airport security checkpoints). You may receive an invisible hand stamp that you will need to reveal under a light as you enter and leave the visiting room. In most prisons, you will then walk into a small room where are large door will close behind you before a door in front of you opens. You will then be escorted in to the visiting room and assigned a seat and table. Your loved one may already be in the room waiting or you may have to wait for them to arrive. Typically, there are vending machines with food and drinks available, a children’s room with coloring and books and board games, but this will vary from prison to prison. Inmates are usually not allowed to get up unless to use the restroom. Contact with your loved one is usually limited and guards are there to enforce visiting policies. Remember, you are in a prison, in a room with many different inmates with different charges. Rules are strict for obvious reasons. It is important to follow all the rules so you or your loved one do not lose visiting privileges. The visiting room environment is usually positive and a good opportunity to connect with your loved one and give them much needed support. Once the visit is over, you can usually give your loved one a quick hug goodbye and are then escorted out of the visiting room and returned to the lobby. When deciding if a young child should attend a visit, consider the affect the loss of the loved one has had on the child, their ability to handle the emotions associated with the situation and if any trauma has resulted from the experience of having a loved one arrested. Always do what is in the best interest of the child, not the adult inmate. The child is the victim and should be protected from further trauma when possible.

Prepaid calls are the only option for telephone communication. You may receive an automated call asking you to approve calls from a corrections facility before you are able to receive a call from your loved one. Calls from your loved one require you to “accept the call” each time before the call can go through. You cannot not call your loved one. Only they can call you. Most facilities also offer a device where inmates can send messages electronically by purchasing “electronic stamps”. You are also able to send messages through this system, once approved. It is important to remember that all calls and communication are monitored and recorded. Prisons have various ways to deposit money onto your loved one’s phone and commissary accounts. This can be done via phone, online or in some places, in person through a machine. You will need a debit or credit card to make deposits. Once you set up an account, you can make deposits as needed. There are many ways to show support that cost little to no money: Pray. Write a letter or send a card, ask others to do the same when able. During phone calls, provide positive updates and share experiences that help normalize life. Be a good listener even if you do not have the answer to the problem. Remind your loved one they are loved and not forgotten. Visit when able. One of the most difficult parts of being incarcerated is the psychological shift that happens. Staying in touch helps your loved one stay connect to the outside world and remain a part of their trusted support network. Remember to take care of yourself first. It is okay to limit or set boundaries as to how much you can or will be able to accept phone calls, visit or offer financial support.

If a conflict cannot be handled assertively, it is sometimes best to say you prefer to take some time to think about the situation, and revisit the conversation later. If your request is not received well, you may need to announce that you will need to hang up if the conversation cannot be cordial. Though hanging up is not a favorable outcome, there may be times it is necessary in order to have a safe boundary in place for yourself and especially if there are children in earshot of the argument.

Attempting to control can be a common tactic used by someone who is trapped inside a prison. Options are limited and loved ones are often used to get the needs the inmate is used to having the freedom to meet on their own. Setting limitations early as to what you will do and not do will help you to resist giving into manipulation. These calls can cause a loved one to feel extremely emotional and give into things that will cause them time or financial hardship. Your loved one will most likely go through many times of desperation, but it is important to show support in ways that will not cause you lose control of your own financial and family responsibilities.

If your loved one is suffering from any type of chronic illness, prison can be a very difficult place to be. Healthcare in the prison system is very different from going to your personal physician for care. Typically, a small team of medical staff serves a large population of inmates. Medication administration can be delayed and/or changed, as options may be more limited. No outside medication is permitted to be brought to an inmate. Wait times to see a Dr for any medical reason can be long and last days or weeks, making medical concerns extremely difficult. Dietary needs are determined by the state based on various documentation.